When everything collapses...

This is really not easy to experience a pandemic in your lifetime. Once is pretty much that I would say. The last one we have is around a hundred years ago which is back to 1918 Spanish flu pandemic. If we assume we can live up to 80 years old, amid pandemic is really an once in a life time experience. This is kind of the darkest period in human history.

I don’t know how you feel about the pandemic. My little girl who is 5 years old told me that she hates coronavirus because we can’t go out. To other people, you might think about hygiene precautions or how to work at home with your kids or how to make different kinds of food as you are not allowed to go dining in any restaurants or what movies we can watch tonight or online learning etc.

Are these the most common things to do when you are facing a life threatening situation? A pandemic! A tricky virus that you couldn’t see from human eyes jeopardise the whole world across different nations and cities. The virus even can be transmitted by asymptomatic people.  How could you still thinking likes nothing is going to happen. This is Huge, this is a real Pandemic!

This is pretty much my point of view this morning so that’s why I’m still suffering from anxiety or depression I guess. After two weeks lockdown, I manage to do my usual duties and calm myself on the first two weeks. It was looking good but this morning the optimistic elements sudden drop in my mind. The worries and uncertainties all come out together. They conquered everywhere. My heart is feeling so heavy and couldn’t get back to my normal routine. The only thing I wanted to do is lying down on my bed and do nothing but hide.

Thank God that I’m a Christian, this is the promise from God that we can leave the burden to Him. I can’t imagine what would happen if I couldn’t do that. There are different tools in psychology for helping patients to think logically. One of the most effective one to me is “worry diary”. You can fill in a form step by step and it will guide you to worry less or even walk out of your worries. This is pretty amazing for me and it helps me to control my anxiety most of the time. I remember the last section I always write down “let’s pray and leave it to God”. As Pastor Bobby from our favourite TV programme Hour of Power always says, “You don’t have to worry; Trust Jesus!”

No matter what we are only human. When everything collapses during the pandemic, the economy, the companies, and even medical system, you got nothing on earth can hang on. The only hope we have is the promises of God.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. (Matthew 24:35)

Shine from the basic unit

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

‭‭（Mark‬ ‭12:30-31‬）

Love your neighbor as yourself is not that easy but we will try our best. As a mum, our closest neighbours are our children and husband. You will see them everyday, talk with them everyday and live under the same roof. 

I am a very traditional Chinese mum, so I used to do all the housework by myself. One day I finally figured out I can’t do all the housework because it will destroy my whole family. I really like to help them to do this and that but this will make me very upset when I spend most of my time in helping them but they just spend most of their time on video games. This is really annoying! A better mum will not do all the housework for them. A better mum should allocate housework for each family member. This is important to make room for your strength and mind so that you can be mentally healthy and also they need to learn the survival skills - household chores. Can you imagine what would their houses look like? What if they never have chance to learn how to vacuum, clean bathroom, wash dishes or change beddings? These are the basic survival skills for each human being. Therefore, we should let them learn and grow. In return, you will have more time for reading bible, writing diary or doing exercises. Therefore, if you want to be a better mum, you should train your children to do household chores. But of course, don’t put high expectations and pressure on them as they are only children. 

Today, I’m so glad that my daughter vacuum her bedroom nice and clean under the guidance from her big brother. And also, my husband and I really enjoy the breakfast that prepared and cooked by our son. Although the housework is just less than an hour per day, this little effort can put your family in harmony. Thank God for giving us wisdom to be a better mum so that we can shine from the most basic unit - our family.

Receive the kingdom of God as a little child

Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” (Mark 10:15)

I really enjoy to discuss with my children about Bible. They really like to investigate and think about theology. I just like to read the teachings from our Lord Jesus and I even keep a habit of reading a chapter in four gospels everyday continuously for a few years. Actually I like to go deep in understanding the words from Jesus and think about it from scratch without reading any reference books.

Tonight I asked them “What are the characteristics of a little child?” My son even pull out a theologist face so that I can tell he is thinking wide and deep. There are no absolute answers in these kind of questions but I can share their answers with you. They are innocent, pure, direct, dependent, creative, humble, joyful, beautiful, empathy, helpful, hopeful, loveable, truthful, honest, simple, no reluctance and no doubt.

There is an answer that I haven’t mentioned but my daughter keeps saying it again and again. Her answer is “naive”. This is a controversial answer but it just keep me thinking about it again and again. However I can’t neglect this answer as there are different wisdoms from different perspectives. Wisdom from men and wisdom from heaven can be totally different.  It can be seen as “naive” in human eyes but it can be totally opposite from eagle eyes. Anyway, I will leave it open at this point. She might come up with a better answer in the future I assume.

I love my children so much! They grow in wisdom and stature day by day and I really hope they would be good Christians in the future. Follow Jesus and His teachings. 

I love being a mum!

I’m so glad to have three amazing children. They are so different from each other but they have one thing in common - a humble heart. They like to learn new things especially they love cooking so much. They like to cook bolognese, pasta, egg and cheese, cake and tortillas. Cooking is the best skill you inherit to your children. Actually I m not really good in cooking and they just learn it online. However, I can still pass on my passion and creativity in cooking to them. We love to explore different food culture and taste the authentic favours from each country. We are Chinese but we try to make different kinds of food all over the world. 

Thank you Jesus to let me know that what is the best thing in my life. It sometimes comes out from your worst days, sometimes comes out after long lasting persistent prayers, or sometimes pops out even you didn’t notice. You will find it when you spend quiet time with God. In Him, you can be back to child and reveal your very pure natural self without materialistic adding.

I love being a mum. This is a challenging, fulfilling, and fantastic mission. Sometimes it can be exhausted but God will give you strength. 😘🙏

新一年新挑戰

我還記得踏入2019年的除夕夜，我和老公二人在等待2019 年的來臨，我好驚，恐懼充滿了我整個人，內心的掙扎，壓力和任務令我無止境的失落，心裡最想做的是哭和躲藏，一直哭一直祈禱，不知何時便睡著了...

由幾年前抑鬱之後，2019年初再經歷焦慮症，焦慮到映响日常生活，焦慮到入了醫院，焦慮到心和肌肉也在痛，雖然身體狀況不太好，但也不會與神的愛隔絕！

感恩我的家人一直陪伴我，就好似在患難裏你看見真情，在黑暗裏你看到光，在絕望中你看到盼望。

感謝我老公，感謝我的三個小可愛，感謝我四位爸媽，感謝支持我的弟兄姊妹和親戚朋友，感謝我的心理輔導員，最重要當然是感謝主耶穌！沒有主耶穌，便沒有今天的我，雖然我仍有好多缺點，但那份不離不棄的愛，因為祢是愛我們愛到底的神！

祝福大家2020 年珍惜每一位在你生命裏同行的人，勇敢面對新一年新挑戰，再藉著主耶穌永恆的愛得勝！❤️

Jesus is the only way to heaven!

In our Easter holiday, we went out to city centre to give food and sleeping bags for people in needs. There was a couple living on the street. They are so happy to receive our gifts. I will never forget their beautiful smiles and grateful heart to God.    After we gave out all the gifts that we prepared, we walked back to the car park and Hakkan left us first as he needed to go toilet. 

Suddenly, a man standing in front of me and my three children. He said “I’m from heaven most high, I came down to tell you something because I have Holy Spirit.” I took out my hand in a polite manner but he refused to shake my hand. And he asked “which church are you come from?” I told him “Salvation Army east city”. Then I asked him “are you brother in Christ? Which church are you come from?” He murmured something that I hardly understood. He asked “do you speak in tongue?” I replied him “I call Jesus all the time.” (To be honest, this is pretty much what I do when I’m nervous.) Then he hold his hand up in the air and prayed for Leo. He spoke in tongue and I didn’t understand at all what he is praying for my son. After his spoke in tongue prayer, he said to Leo “you will be totally different from today.” In my deep heart, I thought why we need that. We already believed in Jesus. He repeated again “I’m from heaven most high. I came down to tell you something because Holy Spirit in me”. Then I replied him frankly “everyone got Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is in me too.” Without asking for my permission, he laid his hand on Tanya’s head and prayed in tongue again. I worried from my mother instinct as he is not a pastor that I trust. I don’t even know him. I immediately put my left hand in between Tanya’s head and his hand. I just kept praying “Jesus, Jesus, ...”. After a while, he stop praying in tongue and he said “you don’t believe me and I tell you all your family will die except this little one.” At that moment, I don’t think he is a brother in Christ anymore. I raised my voice and said “Jesus loves you. Jesus tell you to help people and don’t do that (I mean cursing) again.” After that, I walked away with my three kids. 

My left hand is still numb, but I thank God that we can understand God’s will from reading Bible and also as we believe in Jesus that we will never perish. He is risen! Please pray for that man to attend a right church and believe in Jesus but not believe in himself or random spirits. 

Lord's prayer

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.


Thank you God for giving us Lord's prayer, so that we know what we should pray for and understand the manner of Christian.