Lord's prayer

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.


Thank you God for giving us Lord's prayer, so that we know what we should pray for and understand the manner of Christian.

No fear in love

There are different reasons in different people fighting for depression. I'm a lucky one that know about my reason. Being a Christian, it could be easy or it could hard depends on your theology. I know my root problem. The problem is employing other people's negative theology and becomes my super negative theology. This can totally drown me to the darkness and destroy my life.

This is really painful to recall the memory  of the horrible year of depression. I found nothing interested and just wanted to cry everyday. I saw everything sad and dark. There were no hope, no life and lots of nightmares. No one understand me and I avoid talk to others because of the super negative theology. On the other hand, I would not think they are right. Every time, my husband tried to correct my thoughts. I just refused and didn't think he is right. I guess I was so believed in my super negative theology.

The environments can be negative, the world can be negative, my mind can be negative, my thoughts can be negative, voices can be negative,  even my prayers can be negative but only God in this universe is infinitely positive who is Jesus. I read the book of Luke in KJV again and again. I was so desperate for Jesus's words. I had nightmares for one whole year. I woke up and cried. I couldnt sleep because my mind was still extending the nightmares. The negative thoughts and feelings trapped in my mind day and night. Endless! I called Jesus every time. When I was emotionally collapsed,  when I was in my chronic nightmare, when I was in my negative thoughts, I called Him. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Nothing on earth can help me but only Him. I know that He is the ultimate positive in an infinity level. He is our Saviour forever and ever.

My negative thoughts couldn't be completely vanished in a simply click but I started reading pschology book. I tried my best to understand anxiety and depression. This is a long term process but we need patience and love. I really like this bible verse "there is no fear in love" (1 joh 4:18) because only Jesus gives me hope.

Forgiveness in motherhood

Forgiveness in motherhood
If your child scared of you, you actually lead them cover their sins in front of you.
If you show your love and forgiveness to their faults, you will be their friend forever and this actually diminishes the chance of bigger sins that used to cover up the small sins.

Forgiveness from Jesus
Jesus wants us to love God but not fear. Therefore He forgives us and avoid you from bigger sins. He gives us the best of everything for living in His words. The best relationships with husbands, wife, son, or daughter,  the best of your personality, the best friendships, the best decision making, the best meaningful life (your purpose is greater than yourself) . All in all, a better you!

我是一塊樹葉

我是一塊樹葉
一塊非常普通的樹葉

耶穌是世界的光
光是永恆不变
照耀大地

有一天
樹葉由一邊被移植到另一邊
樹葉在想是否自己出了問題
想極也想不通
想極也想不透
其實答案很簡單
只是創造者的主權
作為樹葉與其在追溯原因或抑鬱
倒不如继續做每一塊樹葉與生俱來的事
就是光合作用
這樣才能继續豐盛地成長





由香港移居到纽西蘭的日子

向壞方面想:
每天都好疲累
身體多病痛
抑鬱
發恶夢

向好方面想:
我懂得如何煮飯
我懂得如何打掃
我學會了做一個媽媽和太太
我更投入籌備公益慈善活動
我更了解牧師的辛酸
(因我叔叔是纽西蘭的一位牧師)
我更需要主耶穌
(主賜平安)

感謝祂教我如何做父母

已經很久沒有寫心靈札要，可能是太忙，也可能是掙扎成長中，也可能是病態，無論是什麼原因，感謝主耶穌的體諒和寬恕，令我想起彼得三次不認主，由未發生以先，上主已經知道，祂耐心等待我們的回轉，在茁壯成長中與我們同行，在自己的錯誤中成長，尋找真理。

今天想感恩的是主耶穌留下「愛人如己」的教導，令我減退以前做父母的尊横，今天學懂怎樣在教導孩童走當行的路，不是靠「大聲」，而是靠「愛心」，在尊重和商討中得出大家滿意的改善，用心去聆聽子女的訴求，得出大家都能接受或滿意的決定和方向。

另外 ，要向年纪較大的子女表達父母的愛，因父母很多時把注意力放在年纪較少的子女身上，多些稱讚和直接表達愛，減少用物質去表達愛，因我們也不想他們過度追求物質而走歪，尋找正面的方式去表達，有時一個欣賞的眼神，或一個輕吻上额的動作，雖然微少但已經非常有效，讓他們在正面鼓勵中成長。

有一天，我在反思父母在子女成長中有着教練的角色，也有着朋友的角色，兩者兼備是最理想的，但當兩者角色起了衝突，我会選擇做他們的朋友，因為當他們長大後成為我們的好朋友是每一位父母冀盼的未來，就好像主耶穌是我們的好朋友，令我們每天也活在永恆的盼望中，努力實踐豐盛的人生。